Let’s start with a hard truth: the hardest person you’ll ever lead isn’t your boss, your team, or even that stubborn committee that can’t agree on where to go for lunch. It’s you.
Most people think leadership begins when they get a title or a team. But before you can lead anyone else, you need to get yourself sorted. You are the captain of your own ship, and until you can steer it through rough weather as well as calm seas, you’ve got no business telling anyone else which direction to row.
Being a leader doesn’t mean barking orders. It’s about taking charge of your choices, your actions, and your attitude. When you’re grounded in purpose, you become someone others naturally want to follow—not because you told them to, but because you show them how.
Know Your Why Before You Lead the Way
Every strong leader begins with a reason. Not a vague “I want to do well” kind of reason, but a clear sense of why they do what they do. Without it, you drift. Your “why” is your compass—it keeps you pointing in the right direction when everything else feels uncertain.
Think about the people you respect most. Chances are, they have a purpose that guides them. They don’t wake up and stumble into their day; they move with intention.
So, what drives you? Is it curiosity, freedom, family, or something else entirely? Write it down. Say it out loud. Let it shape how you make decisions. When your purpose is clear, leadership stops being about control and becomes about direction.
The Power of Clarity
Great leaders don’t mumble through the fog. They communicate clearly—with others and with themselves. That means knowing what you want and being able to explain it without a 40-slide presentation.
Clarity is contagious. When you know where you’re heading, your confidence spreads. It’s easier for people to join your cause when they can see the destination.
This is true even when you’re leading yourself. Set goals that are clear and measurable. Don’t just say, “I’ll get fit.” Say, “I’ll run three times a week and eat vegetables that aren’t deep-fried.” Clear goals create clear results.
If you can’t describe your aim in a sentence, you probably don’t understand it well enough yet. And if you don’t understand it, you won’t achieve it.
Communication: The Secret Sauce
If leadership is the game, communication is the controller. You can’t win without it. And no, communication isn’t just about talking—it’s about listening, understanding, and responding in a way that moves things forward.
There’s a reason leaders like Sir Clive Woodward, who guided England to Rugby World Cup victory, focused so much on communication. Every player knew their role, their responsibilities, and the shared goal. They weren’t just following orders; they were part of a conversation that connected purpose to action.
When you lead yourself, the same principle applies. Talk to yourself like a leader would. Replace the inner critic with a coach. Instead of “I can’t do this,” try “I haven’t mastered this yet, but here’s what I’ll try next.” It’s a small shift that turns frustration into progress.
Accountability Starts With You
You can’t expect honesty and reliability from others if you don’t hold yourself to the same standard. Leadership means owning your choices, even when they don’t work out. No excuses, no blame, no “it wasn’t my fault.”
Missed your deadline? Acknowledge it, fix it, and learn from it.
Overcommitted yourself? Reassess your priorities.
Made a bad call? Admit it and make a better one next time.
Accountability builds trust. When you own your results—good or bad—you create credibility. People respect leaders who tell the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable. The same applies internally: your personal growth relies on being honest with yourself about what works and what doesn’t.
If you keep skipping the gym, you don’t need guilt—you need a plan that works for your actual life, not your fantasy version of it.
Make Progress Fun
One of the big ideas in Winning The Game is gamifying life—turning your goals into something engaging. If leadership feels heavy, you won’t sustain it. You have to make it enjoyable.
Reward progress, not just completion. When you tick something off your list, celebrate it. Small wins release dopamine, the brain’s “good job” chemical, which keeps you motivated.
You can even create your own scoring system.
Hit your goals for the week? You earn a night off or a guilt-free lie-in.
Completed that project you’ve been dreading? Treat yourself to something that brings a smile to your face.
Fun doesn’t undermine seriousness—it reinforces it. When success feels good, you’ll keep chasing it.
Decisions Define You
Leadership isn’t about always being right. It’s about making decisions and learning from them. Indecision drains energy faster than failure ever will.
The best leaders aren’t reckless, but they also don’t get stuck overthinking every detail. They make the best decision they can with the information they have, then move forward.
You can apply this daily. If you’re stuck on a big choice—career move, new habit, difficult conversation—ask yourself: “Does this align with my purpose?” If the answer’s yes, take the leap. If it’s no, walk away. Simple.
And remember: no decision is also a decision. Usually, the worst one. You don’t want too much on your to-do list!
Lead Yourself First, Then Lead Others
Once you’ve learned to manage your own focus, motivation, and emotions, you’ll naturally become better at leading others. People don’t follow words—they follow example.
When your team, your friends, or your family see you leading with integrity and consistency, it inspires confidence. You don’t need to shout, “Follow me!” They’ll just do it.
Start small. Be the kind of person you’d want to work for.
- Show up on time.
- Keep your promises.
- Own your mistakes.
- Celebrate other people’s wins.
That’s leadership in its simplest, most potent form.
Purpose + Leadership = Success
Leadership isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. It’s about knowing where you’re going, bringing others along, and enjoying the journey as you go.
When your purpose drives your actions and your actions inspire others, leadership turns into success.
That’s the heart of Winning The Game: transforming how you work, lead, and live by making every challenge meaningful, every win enjoyable, and every day a chance to grow.
So next time you look in the mirror, ask yourself:
“Am I leading this person well?”
If the answer’s no, good. That means you’re paying attention.
If it’s yes, even better—keep going.