You can tell a lot about a person by how they handle chaos. When life goes off-script, most people freeze, panic, or retreat to their comfort zone. But there’s another option—the one that separates those who crumble from those who grow stronger. It’s the art of weathering storms without losing your joy.
If that sounds easier said than done, you’re right. Staying calm when your plans collapse isn’t natural—it’s trained. You can’t control the wind, but you can set your sails differently. That’s what Winning The Game is about: learning to play the game of life so the challenges make you better, not bitter.
The Day Everything Went Wrong
How was the financial crash of 2008 for you? That year, I had multiple deals collapse, which ultimately led to the business I had run for 21 years collapsing. One week, I was signing papers for expansion, the next, I was wondering how to buy food and pay the bills. My confidence, pride, and sense of control evaporated. For a while, I kept asking, Why me?
Then one morning, staring at a blank wall, I stopped asking why and started asking what now? That’s when things shifted.
That single question—what now?—is the start of resilience.
Step 1: Accept the Storm
The first rule of resilience is simple: don’t waste energy pretending it’s not raining. You can’t outthink a thundercloud. Denial delays recovery.
When something hits you—a failed project, a betrayal, a health scare—your brain scrambles to make sense of it. The temptation is to fight reality. “This shouldn’t have happened.” “I did everything right.” “I can’t handle this.” — I went through all of these.
You can handle it. You just don’t want to. And that’s okay—for a moment. But once you acknowledge the storm, you stop being its victim and start being its navigator.
Step 2: Find the Lesson Before It Finds You
Every setback carries a message, but you only hear it when you stop shouting. Ask yourself: What is this trying to teach me?
When my business failed, the lesson was that I’d built success around money, not meaning. I’d been chasing wins that looked good on paper but left me empty. Once I rediscovered my purpose—the why behind the work—the rebuilding process became faster and more enjoyable. I wish I could say I got to this step immediately, but the truth is it took a very long time.
Your storm may be different, but the question is the same. What lesson is hidden inside the chaos? Is it patience? Focus? Letting go of people or projects that drain you?
When you find the lesson, you take back power.
Step 3: Break It Down
Big problems are like elephants—you eat them one bite at a time.
If you’ve ever faced something overwhelming—debt, divorce, illness—you’ll know that thinking about the whole thing at once is paralysing.
Instead, shrink the challenge. List three actions you can take today, no matter how small. Send the email. Make the call. Go for a run. Once you move, momentum builds.
Small wins release dopamine, the brain’s motivation chemical. That’s why gamification works—progress feels good. Every tick on your list is proof that you’re back in control.
Step 4: Reframe Failure as Feedback
Nobody enjoys failing, but the most successful people are serial failures—they just don’t label it that way.
A failed launch? That’s feedback about timing.
A relationship that fell apart? Feedback about boundaries.
An idea that didn’t land? Feedback about clarity.
When you treat feedback as a learning tool instead of a personal insult, you grow faster. Failure is just the game giving you data—adjust and play again.
Step 5: Keep a “Win Log”
When storms hit, your brain remembers the pain, not the progress. You’ll forget all the good things you’ve done and focus on everything that’s gone wrong.
Combat that by keeping a Win Log—a simple list of things that went right, no matter how small. Finished a challenging workout? Write it down. Solved a client problem? Write it down. Made your child laugh after a bad day? Write it down.
Over time, the list becomes a personal scoreboard. When doubt creeps in, you can look back and see that you’ve been here before—and you’ve always found a way through.
Step 6: Stay Connected
Storms make people withdraw. The instinct is to isolate until the pain passes. Don’t.
You don’t need a crowd, but you do need connection. Talk to someone you trust. Share the story before it festers. A five-minute chat can shift your perspective more than five hours of silent overthinking.
If you lead a team, remember they need the same thing. Keep communication open. Be honest about challenges. People respect vulnerability when it’s paired with determination.
Step 7: Bring Back Joy
You can survive without joy, but you can’t thrive without it. When everything feels heavy, the simplest pleasures become a form of medicine.
Watch something that makes you laugh. Walk outside without headphones. Cook your favourite meal. Joy isn’t a reward for getting through the storm—it’s what helps you get through it.
When I was rebuilding my business, I started celebrating tiny milestones: finishing a report, making a new contact, even surviving a Monday without panic. I’d buy myself a decent coffee, take a long walk, or listen to an album I loved. Those moments kept my energy up when logic said I should have quit.
You can’t play the long game if you don’t enjoy the short game.
Step 8: Remember Who You Are
When life knocks you down, it’s easy to forget your wins and see yourself as broken. But the truth is you’ve survived every bad day you’ve ever had. That’s not luck—that’s strength.
Write down what you’ve overcome before. You’ll notice a pattern: you always get back up. You always adapt. You always find a way. That’s your superpower.
The storm doesn’t define you. It reveals you.
The Power of Perspective
Here’s a simple truth: you can’t always change your circumstances, but you can change how you play them.
You can either complain that the game is hard, or you can level up. You can hide from failure, or you can use it to score points. The difference between misery and mastery is mindset.
That’s what Winning The Game is all about—learning how to turn challenge into growth, pressure into purpose, and setbacks into springboards.
One Last Thought
You don’t need to wait for perfect weather to move forward. You just need the courage to start where you are—with what you’ve got.
Every storm eventually passes. What matters is who you become while you’re in it.
So, next time life throws you a brick, build something with it.
And if you want to learn how to play the game of life on your terms, Winning The Game will show you the rules—and how to make them fun.